This challenge is to regain the power I’ve devoted and lost to females, the pursuit of which holds a monopoly on my mind and time. Often times the female is objectified as a pursuit itself. I’ve found myself giving my energy to females I know are not worthy/compatible just because “she fine and she fuckin.” Then when things don’t work out I’m overly upset, even though I was hoping it wouldn’t. Initiating, duplicating and multiplying the whole process has become a compulsive obsession. Worst case scenario I feel used and objectified, best case, I become the user and objectifier(still a horrible case scenario, but much better on my ego). I’ve been conditioned to believe two dramatic concepts: a. Women are attracted to nice, polite men and b. Women love assholes. It makes me question whether my politeness or standoffishness is actually genuine or manufactured in the pursuit of sex/love/affection. How much of myself is actually me vs how much of me is “for the ladies?” I hate them “for the ladies” ass dudes. You’ve seen them:
You: Thats a dope shirt
For-the-Ladies Ass Dude: thanks, ladies love it
You: cuts in your eyebrows, that’s crazy!
FTLAD: you know it, strictly for the ladies
You: Damn, man do you’d I anything for yourself?
FTLAD: what you trying to say? I don’t live my own life? Well I can and do think for myself! Ladies love free-thinkers!!
Can’t stand them dudes. But I have ask myself how much of that dude is in me? How much can I actually accomplish with regards to my actual life goals and aspirations if I wasn’t focused on females? How likely am I to find the worthy/compatible woman for me if I stop thinking about women as a whole? What value could I bring to such that person? Hella questions.
No prizes. No penalties. Just a challenge to a way of thinking that developed over the decades.
Buzzfeed recently interviewed me for an experiment where ordinary men would try on a police uniform.
Although the discussion we had that day was very deep, insightful, and thought provoking (even to myself ), Buzzfeed decided to limit my input to a more basic selection of clips. Not surprising, but would you believe that the “good dudes” over at Fox News blasted the video and labeled us all “cowards?” Well it happened. It’s difficult to know who to be upset with. Fox is easy, cause they’re the absolute worst. Buzzfeed, though, has me feeling “some type of way” for not selecting more insightful footage from my interview. What started out as an interesting experiment was edited and cut into a silly as reality reboot of “Police Academy.” But whatever, I was on Buzzfeed and Fox so I guess I should be juiced?